Encounters With God

At church on Sunday, January 23, 2011, during worship I had an encounter with God. I felt His presence very heavy and was trying to worship but I just could not seem to get the words out. It somehow felt as if the words of the songs weren’t good enough. The heaviness increased and I asked God what was going on and over and over again I heard Him say, “I am dividing between your soul and your spirit” and the Scripture reference of Hebrews 11:6 seemed to be flashing before my eyes and pounding in my ears. Just then the heaviness turned into a burning on the inside of me.

I thought Hebrews 11:6 might have been the Scripture that talks about the Word of God being a sword that divides between soul and spirit as I knew it was located in the book of Hebrews. So I reached for the closest Bible and looked it up. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever comes near to God must believe that He exists and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” At the time putting together this Scripture with what God was saying was too difficult; however I have since gained revelation on what He was trying to say to me and I will write about that a little later.

All the while the burning continued and was increasing to the point that I was feeling very uncomfortable. So I ask God why it felt as though my insides were burning up. Just then I saw Jesus standing in front of me with a flaming sword in His hands. He then held the sword up in front of me and brought it down on me cutting me in half. At that moment I felt as if I were going to completely burn up from the inside out. I instantly received what seemed to be a five second glimpse of the spirit realm and God’s heart.

At this revelation my heart felt as if it was going to explode and I would die right there. I don’t know of any other way to explain it except in physical terms which doesn’t seem adequate enough. My heart felt as if it was going to burst, my whole body felt engulfed in flames, and at the same time I felt my worship of Him was not good enough and would never be good enough, almost dirty in comparison to Him. It did not feel condemning in any way, it just was. It was as if He was accepting it even though it paled in comparison to Him and would never truly be adequate. Somehow I knew it was because He loved that I was attempting it anyway.

As I got that small glimpse of God’s heart it seemed as though my worship was more about me than it was about Him; more about me getting a feeling or knowing that I had met with God; more about what I wanted to get from Him rather than what He wanted from me. So I asked Him how He wanted me to worship Him.

By this time I was visibly being touched, shaking and crying. A lady standing next to me must have noticed and she put her hand on my back so I naturally placed my hand on her back. As soon as I touched her she began crying and I could tell God was touching her as well. It seemed as though she was feeling the same thing I was so I knew He wanted me to worship Him by praying for her to experience Him in the same way I did.

I begin to pray (not out loud, so as to not pull her out of what God was doing in her) for the same sword to cut her in two dividing between soul and spirit so she could get a glimpse of God’s heart for her. As I stood there praying over her she was visibly being touched by God to the point of being overwhelmed. I then felt the Lord telling me to move on to another person, so I did. This continued to happen with person after person until I looked back and they were all so overwhelmed by His presence they were kneeling on the floor. I was amazed at how just one glimpse of His heart could impact lives so distinctly. The more I think I know who God is, the more I realize I don’t know Him at all. Since that morning I have felt a closeness to God that is noticeably different than before. There is also a feeling of awe that I cannot describe that continues to pull me toward Him wanting to know Him even more!